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the pic chart below showes the natrientions consumed in usa.

the pic chart below showes the natrientions consumed in usa. Lbxyn
The pictorical illustrates the standard percentage of sodium, saturated facts and added sugers in a particular food used up in the united state of america. As can the seen that, the sodium are most used in a dinner (43%) as well as the saturated fat are also high consumption on a dinner (37%). apart of this, suger are maximum consumed in a snacks (42%). However, In the lunch, sodium are ulilized nearly one - thired (29%), saturated fat spend nearly one - fourth (26%) as well as suger exploited nearly two - tenth (19%). Moreover, In the breakfast and snacks american people equally consumed sodium. On the other hand, people consume saturated fat on breakfast and snacks are 16 percentage and 21 percentage. To encapsulate, American people eat more sodium on their dinner, satarated fat are also most used in dinner, suger are less used in dinner as compares to above both natrientions.
The
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pictorical
illustrates the standard percentage of sodium,
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saturated
facts and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
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sugers
in a particular food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up in the united state of
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america
. As can the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the sodium are most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
(43%)
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are
also
high consumption on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
(37%).
Wrong collocation. Did you mean "apart from"?
apart of
this,
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suger
are maximum consumed in
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a snack" or simply "snacks"?
a snacks
(42%).
However
, In the lunch, sodium are
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ulilized
nearly
one
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
thired (29%),
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
spend
nearly
one
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
fourth (26%)
as well
as
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suger
exploited
nearly
two
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
tenth (19%).
Moreover
, In the breakfast and snacks
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american
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
equally
consumed sodium.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consume
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
on breakfast and snacks are 16 percentage and 21 percentage. To encapsulate, American
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
eat more sodium on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
satarated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
are
also
most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
suger
are less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dinner
as compares to above both
Possible spelling mistake found.
natrientions
.

IELTS academic the pic chart below showes the natrientions consumed in usa.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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