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trends in internet use by females in the USA

trends in internet use by females in the USA drDdP
This chart illustrates the trends in internet use by females in the USA between 2000 and 2001. As we examine this chart it's clear that the majority of the younger women use internet when comparing with the older women. Nearly 90% of women between 12-15 used internet both in year 2000 and 2001. Every age category below 35 years shows a percentage higher than 75 while the percentages drop significantly when they get older. The percentages were below 55% for females who are over 55. It's noticeable that there was a growth in the usage of internet among the older women in 2001 when comparing with 2000. While the usage in younger women remains more stable, the women who are older than 35 years shown a significant rise in the internet usage. All age categories over 35 years reflect a increment by around 10% when comparing with 2000. Overall, it's clear that internet is more popular among younger women. But there is a steady rise of internet users within the older women with the time.
This chart illustrates the trends in internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
by females in the USA between 2000 and 2001.

As we examine this chart it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the majority of the younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet when comparing with the
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older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Nearly
90% of
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women
between 12-15
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
internet both in
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year
2000 and 2001. Every age category below 35 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a percentage higher than 75 while the percentages drop
significantly
when they
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get
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older
. The percentages were below 55% for females who are over 55.

It's noticeable that there was a growth in the usage of internet among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
in 2001 when comparing with 2000. While the usage in younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
remains more stable, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
than 35 years shown a significant rise in the internet usage. All age categories over 35 years reflect
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
increment by around 10% when comparing with 2000.

Overall
, it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that internet is more popular among younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is a steady rise of internet users within the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
with the time.
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IELTS academic trends in internet use by females in the USA

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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