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train passengers in Sydney

train passengers in Sydney EL5JD

The graph shows the number of passengers traveling by train between 1995 to 2004 in sydney It can clearly be seen that the number of passengers have upsurge between 1999 to 2001. AS it can be seen, there was a slight rise about 10 millions passengers at the first then it remained flat from 1996 to 1999. Also it had soared between 1999 to 2001 and there was upward trend to reach a peak in 2001. Then at the end of graph There was plummeted at next year and fell and then leveled off and remained flat at last years

The graph This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratesportraysindicatesdisplays
shows
 the number of passengers traveling by train Use "between" + "and" not "to."  Try this: "between 1995 and 2004".between 1995 and 2004
between 1995 to 2004
 in Possible spelling mistake found.SydneySidneySedna
sydney


It can clearly
 be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
 that the number of passengers have upsurge Use "between" + "and" not "to."  Try this: "between 1999 and 2001".between 1999 and 2001
between 1999 to 2001
.

AS it can be This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witnessed
seen
, there was a slight rise about 10 millions passengers at the first
 then it remained flat from 1996 to 1999. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?Also,
Also
 it had soared Use "between" + "and" not "to."  Try this: "between 1999 and 2001".between 1999 and 2001
between 1999 to 2001
 and there was upward trend to reach a peak in 2001. Then at the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :expiration
end
 of graph There was plummeted
 at next
 year and fell and then leveled off and remained flat at last Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphyears.years!years?years:years,years;
years

IELTS academic train passengers in Sydney

Academic

American English

2 paragraphs

99 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
?
Include an introduction and conclusion
?
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
?
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.0

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
?
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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