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the charts show the age range of male and female volunteers and the different activities carried out by these volunteers in one US city in 2015

the charts show the age range of male and female volunteers and the different activities carried out by these volunteers in one US city in 2015 WE6k5
The bar charts provide information on the percentage of male and female volunteers who participated in various activities in one US city in 2015. Overall, while the participation of men was more than women, most of activities were carried out more by female members over the period in question. Looking at the details, as regards age range the lowest percentage of volunteers was between 25 and 34 aged male and female members with 3 percent and around 4 percent, respectively. The highest percentage was among 67-74 aged people in both sex (8% and 10%). The participation rates of men were similar from 45 to 64 age range with 8%, whereas there was a noticeable growth in female members’ percentages between 45-54 and 55-64 with around 5% and under 6%, in turn. The rates of 15-24 age range in both men and women were 4% and approximately 5%, correspondingly. Finally, if we look at 34-44 aged volunteers, the percentage was around 5% for female and 7% for male. In terms of activities carried out by volunteers, in teaching, attending meetings and training session and building and outdoor work were done more by women than men. The rest of activities such as food preparation and organizing and preparing were carried out more by males than females ranging from 10%-14% to 5%-11%, respectively.
The bar charts provide information on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
who participated in various
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activities
in one US city in 2015.

Overall
, while the participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
was more than women, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
were carried
out more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
members over the period in question.

Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, as regards age range the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
was between 25 and 34 aged male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
members with 3 percent and around 4 percent,
respectively
. The highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was among 67-74 aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in both sex (8% and 10%). The participation rates of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
were similar from 45 to 64 age range with 8%, whereas there was a noticeable growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
members’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
between 45-54 and 55-64 with around 5% and under 6%, in turn.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
rates of 15-24 age range in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and women were 4% and approximately 5%,
correspondingly
.
Finally
, if we look at 34-44 aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
was around 5% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
and 7% for male.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
carried out by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
volunteers
, in teaching, attending meetings and training session and building and outdoor work
were done
more by women than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. The rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as food preparation and organizing and preparing
were carried
out more by males than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
ranging from 10%-14% to 5%-11%,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic the charts show the age range of male and female volunteers and the different activities carried out by these volunteers in one US city in 2015

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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