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Today, post and comments by famous people have a great influences on young people. However, some of people say it has a negative development. What do you think about it?

Today, post and comments by famous people have a great influences on young people. However, some of people say it has a negative development. What do you think about it? 73b32
The admiration young people hold for celebrities is not a new phenomenon. Throughout history, youths have been inspired by people with outstanding athletic abilities. It is argued that this admiration brings with it more positive than negative issues/ramifications. This will be proven by looking at how sports figures both instill inspiration and teach life lessons to young people. Firstly, celebrities often display extremely developed skills, which can help to spur young people towards a life full of physically active. For instance, school children are often driven to exercise in an attempt to emulate superstars such as Novak Djokovic, Ronaldo, and Messi. As this additional exercise is good for their health, it is difficult to argue that the inspiration celebrities leave upon young people is entirely a bad thing. Thus, this shows that the admiration people hold for sports stars has positive implications/reasons. Although the negative character traits of many sports celebrities are often called into question, it is felt the public mistakes professional athletes make can act as good morality lessons for young people. A good image of this occurred when Canadian runner Ben Johnson dishonorably lost an Olympic gold medal due to steroid use. This incident showed young people around the world that drug use is a shameful practice. As this example illustrates, the public errors athletes commit can often act as good lessons for adolescents. After looking at the above, it is felt to hold athletes in esteem does not bring with it entirely negative consequences. It is assumed the historical admiration people retain for sports stars is not going to change into the foreseeable future.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admiration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
is not a new phenomenon. Throughout history, youths have
been inspired
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with outstanding athletic abilities. It
is argued
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admiration
brings with it more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
issues/ramifications. This will
be proven
by looking at how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
figures both instill inspiration and teach life lessons to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
display
extremely
developed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to spur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards a life full of
physically
active.
For instance
, school children are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
driven to exercise in an attempt to emulate superstars such as Novak Djokovic, Ronaldo, and Messi. As this additional exercise is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for their health, it is difficult to argue that the inspiration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
entirely
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admiration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
implications/reasons.

Although the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
character traits of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
called into question, it
is felt
the public mistakes professional athletes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
can act as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
morality lessons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
image of this occurred when Canadian runner Ben Johnson
dishonorably
lost an Olympic gold medal due to steroid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This incident
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world that drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
is a shameful practice. As this example illustrates, the public errors athletes commit can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
often
act as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
lessons for adolescents.

After looking at the above, it
is felt
to hold athletes in esteem does not bring with it
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. It
is assumed
the historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
admiration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
retain for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stars is not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into the foreseeable future.
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IELTS academic Today, post and comments by famous people have a great influences on young people. However, some of people say it has a negative development. What do you think about it?

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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