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Three pie charts illustrate the changes in learning English from 2010 to 2015 in Country A, Country B and Country C.

Three pie charts illustrate the changes in learning English from 2010 to 2015 in Country A, Country B and Country C. kLqY2
Three pie charts illustrate the changes in learning English from 2010 to 2015 in Country A, Country B and Country C. Overall, evening classes in three countries decreased while online classes and studying abroad dramatically edged up. Despite dropping, evening classes still ranked first in the proportion of students. In 2010, country C had the highest percentage of attendees, with a massive 94%, followed by Country B and Country A, at approximately 70%. In 2015, those figures saw a significant downward trend, to 82%, 48%, and 67% respectively. By contrast, the number of online classes in three countries rocketed throughout the period. This type of class in Country C and Country A doubled, whereas this in Country B experienced a fourfold increase during the period. In terms of going abroad to study English, as opposed to the number of students participating in country C which slightly went up from 0% to merely 3%, the percentage of participation in country A declined by 2% while this figure in Country B remained unchanged at one - fifth of the total in this 5-year-period. These days, in some countries, the number of teenagers visiting theaters and classical concerts or plays seriously plummeted. This essay will discuss the underlying causes before justifying my approval of having some encouragements for them to attend more. To begin with, there are two main reasons for this phenomenon. Firstly, the lack of time lies at the root of this reduction. These days, young people, especially students, are always overload with their assignments and homework. Because they cannot arrange suitable time for going to the theaters or music concerts, many of them opt for listening to this music via the Internet in which young people can access a wide range of songs with just a mouse-click. Secondly, the change in their favourite genre also leads to the decrease of teenagers taking part in these performances. In times of intergration, in addition to classical music, these people have more opportunities to listen to various types of music in different countries, such as Kpop in Korea, pop or rock music, …. As a result, the number of young people who are captivated by classical music considerably plummet, which results in the phenomenon that there are a few young people being engaged in classical music performances in theaters or the plays in concerts. Secondly, It is vital for the authorities or government to encourage them to take part in these concerts since the protection of attendances is the preservation of this kind of music. The less people participate in these concerts, the less classical concerts or performances are held. Moreover, due to the deficiency of young attendants, it is tough for this genre of music to be passed down to the next generations; therefore, it easily become obsolete and fall into oblivion. To conclude, I believe that there are two main causes of the reduction in the number of teenagers who go to classical music concerts or plays and visit peformances in the theaters. Furthermore, the motivation for these people to take part in more classical music performances is important in order not to allow this traditional kind of music be outdated.
Three pie charts illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in learning English from 2010 to 2015 in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
C.

Overall
, evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
decreased while online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
and studying abroad
dramatically
edged up. Despite dropping, evening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
still
ranked
first
in the proportion of students.

In 2010,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
C had the highest percentage of attendees, with a massive 94%, followed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A, at approximately 70%. In 2015, those figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant downward trend, to 82%, 48%, and 67%
respectively
. By contrast, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
rocketed throughout the period. This type of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
C and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A doubled, whereas this in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B experienced a fourfold increase during the period. In terms of going abroad to study English, as opposed to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
C which
slightly
went up from 0% to
merely
3%, the percentage of participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
A declined by 2% while this figure in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B remained unchanged at one
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
fifth of the total in this 5-year-period.

These days, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
visiting theaters and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
or plays
seriously
plummeted. This essay will discuss the underlying causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
justifying my approval of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
encouragements for them to attend more.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two main reasons for this phenomenon.
Firstly
, the lack of time lies at the root of this reduction. These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
students, are always
Consider using a past participle here: "overloaded".
overload
with their assignments and homework.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they cannot arrange suitable time for going to the theaters or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them opt for listening to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
via the Internet in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can access a wide range of songs with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a mouse-click.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
genre
also
leads to the decrease of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
taking part in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
. In times of
Possible spelling mistake found.
intergration
,
in addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more opportunities to listen to various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kpop
in Korea, pop or rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, ….
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are captivated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
considerably
plummet, which results in the phenomenon that there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being engaged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
in theaters or the plays in concerts.

Secondly
, It is vital for the authorities or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
since the protection of attendances is the preservation of this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. The
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participate in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
, the less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
are held
.
Moreover
, due to the deficiency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
attendants, it is tough for this genre of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to
be passed
down to the
next
generations;
therefore
, it
easily
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
obsolete and fall into oblivion.

To conclude
, I believe that there are two main causes of the reduction in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
concerts
or plays and visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
peformances
in the theaters.
Furthermore
, the motivation for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
this traditional kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
be outdated
.

IELTS academic Three pie charts illustrate the changes in learning English from 2010 to 2015 in Country A, Country B and Country C.

Academic
  American English
7 paragraphs
530 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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