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the chart gives information about GLOBAL POPULATION and DISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH in these countries

the chart gives information about GLOBAL POPULATION and DISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH in these countries m8d1q
The chart compares population shares in various regions of the world with the distribution of wealth in these same regions. It can be seen that population shares in almost all cases do not relate to the distribution of wealth. Even though North America has only approximately 6% of the world’s population, it boasts nearly 34% of global wealth. A similar situation can be seen in Europe, which has 15% of the global population but 30% of global wealth, and the rich (high income) Asia-Pacific countries with 5% of the world’s population but 24% of its wealth. On the other hand, the total wealth of people in China, India, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, and the other poor (lower income) countries in Asia-Pacific is far less than their share of the world population. This is most striking in India, where 16% of the world’s population own only 1% of the world’s wealth, and in China, which has the highest percentage of the global population (24%) but only 3% of the world’s wealth.
The chart compares
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population
shares in various regions of the
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world
with the distribution of
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wealth
in these same regions.

It can be
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seen
that
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population
shares in almost all cases do not relate to the distribution of wealth.

Even though
North America has
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only
approximately 6% of the
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world’s
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population
, it boasts
nearly
34% of
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global
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wealth
. A similar situation can be
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seen
in Europe, which has 15% of the
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global
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population
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but
30% of
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global
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wealth
, and the rich (high income) Asia-Pacific countries with 5% of the
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world’s
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population
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but
24% of its wealth.

On the other hand
, the total
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wealth
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in China, India, Africa, Latin America and the Caribbean, and the other poor (lower income) countries in Asia-Pacific is far less than their share of the
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world
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population
. This is most striking in India, where 16% of the
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world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of the
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world’s
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wealth
, and in China, which has the highest percentage of the
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global
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population
(24%)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
.

IELTS academic the chart gives information about GLOBAL POPULATION and DISTRIBUTION OF WEALTH in these countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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