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This table below give information about underground subway in six areas

This table below give information about underground subway in six areas 73qa6
The table given shows information about subway networks in six areas: London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles. According to the table below, the London railway system is the oldest among six systems and has the longest route. Meanwhile, the underground train networks in Tokyo, was first opened later than subterranean of London, attracting more passengers per year. To begin with, London railway system was built in 1863, which is the oldest system. However its length is 394 kilometers which is also the largest route among these six cities. Nearly 800 million people use London's underground train stations each year, accounting for two-thirds of Paris 's population. Then, in 1990, Paris underground railway system was first opened and it is the second longest route and the proportion of passengers each year with a 200-kilometer track carrying over 1190 million passengers. Furthermore, Tokyo underground railway system has the busiest station with more than 1900 millions and it was established in 1927 which has 155 kilometers of route. As is given in the table, the city Los Angeles has the newest underground railway system, which was established in 2001 and it is the second least exploited with 50 million people for every year and also the second shortest length with 28 kilometers, two times that in Kyoto. Meanwhile, the system in Kyoto was used earlier than the one in Los Angeles, in 1981, stands the last rank with 11 kilometers length and 45 million passengers per year, . On the contrary, the train network in Washington DC was built in the year 1976 has the greatest amount of passengers and the longest route ( 126 kilometers and 144 million passengers per year ) in three cities: Washington DC, Kyoto, Los Angeles
The table
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given
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shows
information about subway networks in six areas: London, Paris, Tokyo, Washington DC, Kyoto and Los Angeles.

According to the table below, the London
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railway
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system
is the oldest among six
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systems
and has the longest
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route
. Meanwhile, the
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underground
train networks in Tokyo, was
first
opened later than subterranean of London, attracting more
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passengers
per year.

To
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begin
with, London
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railway
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system
was built
in 1863, which is the oldest
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system
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
its length is 394 kilometers which is
also
the largest
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route
among these six cities.
Nearly
800
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million
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people
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use
London's
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underground
train stations each
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year
, accounting for two-thirds of Paris 's population. Then, in 1990, Paris
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underground
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railway
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system
was
first
opened and it is the second longest
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route
and the proportion of
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passengers
each
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year
with a 200-kilometer
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track
carrying over 1190
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million
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passengers
.
Furthermore
, Tokyo
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underground
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railway
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system
has the busiest station with more than 1900
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millions
and it
was established
in 1927 which has 155 kilometers of route.

As is
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given
in the table, the city Los Angeles has the newest
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underground
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railway
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system
, which
was established
in 2001 and it is the second least exploited with 50
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million
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people
for every
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year
and
also
the second shortest length with 28 kilometers, two times that in Kyoto. Meanwhile, the
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system
in Kyoto was
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used
earlier than the one in Los Angeles, in 1981, stands the last rank with 11 kilometers length and 45
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million
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passengers
per
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year
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
On the contrary
, the train network in Washington DC
was built
in the
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year
1976 has the greatest amount of
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passengers
and the longest
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route
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
126 kilometers and 144
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million
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passengers
per
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year
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)
in three cities: Washington DC, Kyoto, Los
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Angeles

IELTS academic This table below give information about underground subway in six areas

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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