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This graph shows the number of tourist arrivals in Japan from Australia, UK, USA and South Africa .

This graph shows the number of tourist arrivals in Japan from Australia, UK, USA and South Africa. pLqry
The illustration depicts statistical data about the number of traveller arrivals in Japan from 4 distinct countries. Overall, it was apparent that Americans spent more money for hitting Japan, compared with other countries, while the numbers of visitors reaching Japan in UK and South Africa were the lowest in surveyed data. In 1990, the number of tourists coming to Japan in USA, which occupied 450000 people, was twice as much as that of Australian. From that time onwards, there was a gradual increase in the numbers of the latter and the former, with the figure reaching 45000 and 23000, respectively. Then, the latter decreased to 11000 at the same time the former grew to 52000 in 2010. In the other hand, the numbers of travellers reaching Japan in UK and South Africa always under the 20000 people. In 1990, the number of Japan lovers was roughly 13000, while the figure for South Africa was slightly lower, at 10000. In 2010, the figures for UK and South Africa record at 11000 and 13000, accordingly. During the interval of 10 years, the numbers of goers visiting to Japan in UK and South Africa were almost equal, at 12000.
The illustration depicts statistical data about the
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number
of
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traveller
arrivals in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
from 4 distinct countries.

Overall
, it was apparent that Americans spent more money for hitting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, compared with other countries, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of visitors reaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
in UK and South Africa were the lowest in surveyed data.

In 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of tourists coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
, which occupied 450000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, was twice as much as that of Australian. From that time onwards, there was a gradual increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of the latter and the former, with the figure reaching 45000 and 23000,
respectively
. Then, the latter decreased to 11000 at the same time the former grew to 52000 in 2010.

In the other hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
reaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
in UK and South Africa always under the 20000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In 1990, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
lovers was roughly 13000, while the figure for South Africa was
slightly
lower, at 10000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
2010, the figures for UK and South Africa record at 11000 and 13000,
accordingly
. During the interval of 10 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
of goers visiting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
in UK and South Africa were almost equal, at 12000.
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IELTS academic This graph shows the number of tourist arrivals in Japan from Australia, UK, USA and South Africa.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
196 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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