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Chart of money spent on 6 consumer goods by 4 European countries

Chart of money spent on 6 consumer goods by 4 European countries k5N9M
The bar chart depicts the expenditure of four European countries on six types of goods. The unite is pound sterling. Overall, The British people outnumbered the rest three nationalities by a significant margin in every consumer good. Germany spends almost the same amount of money on about four specific consumer goods. With regard to Germany and Italy, (Both of) those countries managed to spend similar amounts of money on consumer stuff. The German spend around 150 thousand pounds sterling on CDs, perfumes, tennis racquets, and personal stereos. In Italy, people get the same previous goods, within 150 thousand pounds sterling. Meanwhile, they spend over 156 thousand pounds on toys and photographic films (, ) hence, the money is somehow equally spent on all goods. About the French and Briston, the British spend a range from 155 to 172 thousand pounds sterling on the entire goods. In France, the money spent varies from 145 to 165 thousand pounds, with the most expenditure on photographic film.
The bar chart depicts the expenditure of four European countries on six types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
After 'The', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'unite' is correct. If 'unite' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
The unite
is pound sterling.

Overall
, The British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
outnumbered the rest three nationalities by a significant margin in every consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
. Germany
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
almost the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on about four specific consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

With regard to Germany and Italy, (Both of) those countries managed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
similar amounts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on consumer stuff. The German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
around 150 thousand pounds sterling on CDs, perfumes, tennis racquets, and personal stereos. In Italy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the same previous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, within 150 thousand pounds sterling. Meanwhile, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
over 156 thousand pounds on toys and photographic films (,
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is somehow
equally
spent on all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

About the French and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Briston
, the British
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spend
a range from 155 to 172 thousand pounds sterling on the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
. In France, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
spent varies from 145 to 165 thousand pounds, with the most expenditure on photographic film.
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IELTS academic Chart of money spent on 6 consumer goods by 4 European countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
164 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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