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This graph represent the number of students enrolled on four different course types in China in the period of 2008 to 2012.

This graph represent the number of students enrolled on four different course types in China in the period of 2008 to 2012. 0wJ5B
This graph represent the number of students enrolled on four different course types in China in the period of 2008 to 2012. Overall, every course students amount are gradually upward except literacy. Number of students from literacy gradually downward and it has the least amount of students. Fortunately, amount of people on undergraduates has the best result in comparison with 3 different courses. In 2010, it started from below 20 million, and rose to more than 20. 5 million. After that, in 2012 the number of students on undergraduates increase from above 20. 5 million to near 25 million. That is the best result in China. Below from that result is postgraduates that had almost 5 million in the beginning. Postgraduates not rose as big as undergraduates. It increase only for about 0. 5 million number of students in 2010. And in the end, it reached exactly 5 million numbers. Unfortunately, the number of people on literacy course gradually downward. It has the worst result in comparison with others. It began with below than 2. 5 million numbers, and lose all their number in 2010. That's awful result. After that, it gradually increase to almost 0. 3 numbers of students. Online training began with same amount of students as literacy course. There was gradual rose in amount of students on online training. It rose for 0. 1 million from 2008 to 2012.
The verb 'represent' is plural. Did you mean: "This graph represents"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This graph represent
the
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number
of
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students
enrolled on four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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course
types in China in the period of 2008 to 2012.

Overall
, every
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course
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students
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amount
are
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gradually
upward except
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literacy
.
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Number
of
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students
from
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literacy
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gradually
downward and it has the least
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amount
of students.

Fortunately
,
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amount
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on undergraduates has the best
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result
in comparison
with 3
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different
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courses
. In 2010, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from below 20
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million
, and
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rose
to more than 20. 5
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million
. After that, in 2012 the
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number
of
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students
on undergraduates increase from above 20. 5
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million
to near 25
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million
.
That is
the best
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result
in China. Below from that
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result
is postgraduates that had almost 5
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million
in the beginning. Postgraduates not
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rose
as
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big
as undergraduates. It
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increase
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only
for about 0. 5
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million
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number
of
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students
in 2010. And in the
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end
, it reached exactly 5
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million
numbers.

Unfortunately, the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on
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literacy
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course
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gradually
downward. It has the worst
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result
in comparison
with others. It began with
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below
than 2. 5
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million
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numbers
, and lose all their
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number
in 2010. That's awful
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result
. After that, it
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gradually
Did you mean "increases"?
increase
to almost 0. 3
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numbers
of
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students
. Online training began with same
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amount
of
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students
as
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literacy
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course
. There was gradual
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rose
in
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amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on online training. It
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rose
for 0. 1
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million
from 2008 to 2012.
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IELTS academic This graph represent the number of students enrolled on four different course types in China in the period of 2008 to 2012.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
232 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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