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moving by public transport

moving by public transport d3jor
The given chart compares the proportion of public transport users in a town between 2012 and 2015. It is clear that, the percentage of citizens used trams and bus had upward trend, while the figure for trains was dramatic decline. Additionally, trams became the best choice of passengers in this town. In 2012, the ratio of passengers using trains was highest, at 80%, while the figure for trams was significantly lower, at 20%. At the same time, the number of people travelling by buses made up 55% of total people using public transport. In 3 years next, the number of trams user was dramtically increased by 85% to 95%, making it the popular choice during research period. Meanwhile, the number of people moving by bus accounted for 60%. At the same time, there were 63% of population using trains.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart compares the proportion of public transport users in a town between 2012 and 2015.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that, the percentage of citizens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
trams and bus had upward
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "trended".
trend
, while the figure for trains was dramatic decline.
Additionally
, trams became the best choice of passengers in this town.

In 2012, the ratio of passengers using trains was highest, at 80%, while the figure for trams was
significantly
lower, at 20%. At the same time, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling by buses made up 55% of total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using public transport.

In 3 years
next
, the number of trams user was
Possible spelling mistake found.
dramtically
increased by 85% to 95%, making it the popular choice during research period. Meanwhile, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
moving by bus accounted for 60%. At the same time, there were 63% of population using trains.
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IELTS academic moving by public transport

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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