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The graph shows avaerage annual spending of students in three countries in 2007

The graph shows avaerage annual spending of students in three countries in 2007 86paw
The table shows the average yearly expenditure by 3 specific countries’ colleagues in 2007, falling in 5 different categories. Overall, university students in Country A spend the biggest amount of money, contrast to that in country C. Notably, the cost spent on accommodation and food makes up more that the three other remainders total. As transparent from the data surveyed in Country A, the average individual expenditure paid annually was ranked the highest with $5. 000, tripled the amount recorded in Country C. The Accommodation fee accounted for the most in Country A’s students' money at 45%, doubled the money allocated for Food and Leisure, both comprising 22%. Books were only responsible for 3% of the expenditure, equal to roughly one-third the money used for Others (8%). Similar to Country A, colleagues in Country B also spend the most of their $4. 500 expenditure on Accommodation, with 35%, followed by Food and Leisure with 28% and 23% respectively. Contrary to Country A, Books in Country B acquire 9%, two times more than the proportion of Other (5%). Different from the two other countries, students in Country C prioritized Food rather than Accommodation, which constituted 36%, three times larger than the amount spent in Leisure (12%). It was followed by Accommodation and Books, which represented 30% and 21% correspondingly. The money expended on Other was lower than all of other domains, 1% to be exact.
The table
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shows
the average yearly
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expenditure
by 3 specific
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countries’
colleagues in 2007, falling in 5
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different
categories.
Overall
, university students in
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Country
A spend the biggest amount of
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money
, contrast to that in
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country
C.
Notably
, the cost spent on
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accommodation
and
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food
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makes
up more that the three
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other
remainders total.

As transparent from the data surveyed in
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Country
A, the average individual
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expenditure
paid
annually
was ranked
the highest with $5. 000, tripled the amount recorded in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
C. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Accommodation
fee accounted for the most in
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Country
A’s students'
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money
at 45%, doubled the
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money
allocated for
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Food
and Leisure, both comprising 22%. Books were
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only
responsible for 3% of the
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expenditure
, equal to roughly one-third the
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money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for Others (8%).

Similar to
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Country
A, colleagues in
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Country
B
also
spend the most of their $4. 500
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expenditure
on
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Accommodation
, with 35%, followed by
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Food
and Leisure with 28% and 23%
respectively
. Contrary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
A, Books in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
B acquire 9%, two times more than the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
(5%).

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
from the two
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other
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countries
, students in
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Country
C prioritized
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Food
rather
than
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Accommodation
, which constituted 36%, three times larger than the amount spent in Leisure (12%). It
was followed
by
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Accommodation
and Books, which represented 30% and 21%
correspondingly
. The
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money
expended on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
was lower than all of
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other
domains, 1% to be exact.
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IELTS academic The graph shows avaerage annual spending of students in three countries in 2007

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
234 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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