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The table below shows the expenses per week of a retired single person and a couple in Australia, for their comfortable lifestyle.

The diagram illustrates the amount of money that is suspended weekly for a convenience life by a person or a couple who are retired in Australia. Was it stands out is that for a single person the most spending amount is for other category while, four couples the housing takes the most money. Regarding to single person data, it is reported that total expenses per week is $650 that is the sum of the following from most to the list others, housing, shelter, clothing, health, food, and shopping with $177, $160, $92, $67, $64, $55, and $35 respectively. Looking at the couple data, the places of housing and others categories swapped, also the clothing and shelter categories experience this swap compared to the single person list of expenditure that is mentioned before. Thus, the least amount of money spended for shopping with $50 and housing with $284 take the most proportion of the spending.
The diagram illustrates the amount of money that
is suspended
weekly for a convenience life by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
or a couple who
are retired
in Australia. Was it stands out is that for a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
the most spending amount is for other category while, four couples the housing takes the most money.

The phrase ‘Regarding to’ is not correct. Use “Regarding” or “regard to”.
Regarding to
single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
data, it
is reported
that total expenses per week is $650
that is
the sum of the following from most to the list others, housing, shelter, clothing, health, food, and shopping with $177, $160, $92, $67, $64, $55, and $35
respectively
.

Looking at the couple data, the places of housing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
categories swapped,
also
the clothing and shelter categories experience this swap compared to the single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
list of expenditure that
is mentioned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Thus
, the least amount of money
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “spent”, the past tense form of the verb ‘spend’?
spended
for shopping with $50 and housing with $284 take the most proportion of the spending.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the expenses per week of a retired single person and a couple in Australia, for their comfortable lifestyle.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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