Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group in2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.

The line graph illustrates the weekly wage of three different kinds of full-time graduate employees including first degree, higher degree and other qualifications in a variety of age groups in 2002. Overall, it is clear that with the exception of people with other qualifications, the weekly income of graduates and postgraduates saw an upward trend in the oldest category. However, that of other qualifications was the highest in most age groups. To begin with, there was a fluctuation in the amount of money that people with other qualifications earned from their full – time jobs per week. At the beginning, they earned around 420 pounds as the highest level. Their earnings peaked at nearly 850 pounds at ages 36-40, while it fell to under 700 pounds (ages 56-60). Besides, those with a higher degree and other degrees who aged 46-50 and 51- 60 received the same wage per week. On the other hand, for higher degree holders, their income per week, following that of others qualification, started at about 390 pounds at 21-25 age group. It increased to 750 pounds ( ages 41-45), then it dropped slightly and reached a peak at 790 pounds in 56-60 age group. The weekly earnings of graduates in 41-45 age group. After that, it fell steadily, then there was a slight increase in the oldest age group.
The line graph illustrates the weekly wage of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of full-time graduate employees including
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
in a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
in 2002.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Consider using “except” or “except for”
with the exception of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
, the weekly income of graduates and postgraduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
an upward trend in the oldest category.
However
, that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
was the highest in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there was a fluctuation in the amount of money that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualifications
earned from their full
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
time jobs per week. At the beginning, they earned around 420 pounds as the highest level. Their earnings peaked at
nearly
850 pounds at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
36-40, while it fell to under 700 pounds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(ages
56-60).
Besides
, those with a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degrees
who aged 46-50 and
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
51- 60
received the same wage per week.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
holders, their income per week, following that of others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualification
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at about 390 pounds at 21-25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. It increased to 750 pounds
Don’t put a space after the opening parenthesis.
(
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
41-45), then it dropped
slightly
and reached a peak at 790 pounds in 56-60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The weekly earnings of graduates in 41-45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. After that, it fell
steadily
, then there was a slight increase in the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group in2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age group in2002. It includes those with a degree, whose with a higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications.