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This chart above shows us who shopped online in Canada.

This chart above shows us who shopped online in Canada. rYKdn
This chart above shows us who shopped online in Canada. This study was from the ages between 15 to 65+. In the years 2014 and 2018. We can notice that the online shopping is Increased in 2018 compared to 2014. Also, the age between 26-45 are the highest of other ages because they didn't have time for shopping. On the other hand, the lowest age of ordering online in Canada were 65+ maybe because they didn't trust the other websites. In conclusion, the online shopping in Canada is increasing from 2014 to 2018. The most age of ordering online is 26-45 which they were around 40%. However, the lowest age of ordering online in Canada at the same years were 65+ which they are under 25%. We can notice from this chart that teenagers prefer ordering online than the older people because it easy, cheaper and save their time.
This chart above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us who shopped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in Canada. This study was from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 15 and 65".
between 15 to 65
+. In the years 2014 and 2018. We can notice that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
is Increased
in 2018 compared to 2014.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
between 26-45 are the highest of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they didn't have time for shopping.
On the other hand
, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in Canada were 65+ maybe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they didn't trust the other websites.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping in Canada is increasing from 2014 to 2018. The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of ordering

online is 26-45 which they were around 40%.
However
, the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of ordering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in Canada at the same years

were 65+ which they are under 25%. We can notice from this chart that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
prefer ordering
Use "onliner" to make a comparison with this adjective.
online
than the older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
easy, cheaper and save their time.
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IELTS academic This chart above shows us who shopped online in Canada.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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