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These two line graphs describe that the number of university enrolment of international students and local students between 2001 and 2010 in Australia.

These two line graphs describe that the number of university enrolment of international students and local students between 2001 and 2010 in Australia. KGBJk
These two line graphs describe that the number of university enrolment of international students and local students between 2001 and 2010 in Australia. To begin with, the first graph illustrates the increase trend that international students apply for the university gradually and also the total number of student went up based on the commencing figure. In 2001, overseas student were only 15000, but 40000 people enroled in the school untill 2008. In addition, the rising trend continued to 2009, on the contrast, since then the enrolment remained still at the stage which was 40000. The second gragh shows the fluctuated changes of local students during ten years. Even though the number of enrolment was much bigger than overseas students, which figures was approximately 180000. While it is seen that the change increased to about 220000 for a year, the number of commencing decreased from 2002 to 2006 (around 190000). Interestingly, the total local students rose up considerably during the decade.
These two line graphs
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describe
that the
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number
of university
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enrolment
of international
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students
and local
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students
between 2001 and 2010 in Australia.

To
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begin
with, the
first
graph illustrates the increase trend that international
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students
You can apply for a job or welfare, but you apply to a university. Revise: "apply to the university".
apply for the university
gradually
and
also
the total
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number
of
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student
went up based on the commencing figure. In 2001, overseas
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student
were
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only
15000,
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but
40000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "enrolled", the past tense form of the verb 'enrol'?
enroled
in the school
Possible spelling mistake found.
untill
2008.
In addition
, the rising trend continued to 2009, on the contrast, since then the
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
remained
still
at the stage which was 40000.

The second
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gragh
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shows
the fluctuated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of local
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students
during ten years.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'enrolment' is British English.
enrolment
was much bigger than overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, which figures was approximately 180000. While it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
increased to about 220000 for a year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of commencing decreased from 2002 to 2006 (around 190000).
Interestingly
, the total local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
rose up
considerably
during the decade.
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IELTS academic These two line graphs describe that the number of university enrolment of international students and local students between 2001 and 2010 in Australia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
160 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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