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Computer ownership by education level, 2002 and 2010

Computer ownership by education level, 2002 and 2010 BaEGw
The given bar graphs provide information about the percentage of people's computer ownership in nearly a decade. It also depicts the percentage of computer ownership by education level's comparison in the start and end of the decade. Overall, the number of people owning a computer is highest in 2010 whereas lowest in 2002 which is quite evident due to technology enhancements in all these years. Postgraduates stood first in terms of computer ownership in both the years 2002 and 2010 while people with not even a high school diploma seem to lack behind. From 2002 to 2010, the percentage of people having computer has increased from around 53% to approximately 75% with no drop in the years 2004, 2006 and 2008. As per the education levels, the percentage of computer ownership was nearly 15% in 2002 which hiked to 40% by 2010 for the people who had no high school diploma. Similarly, high school graduate's percent increased by 30 from 2002 to 2010. The pattern was followed for the people who are pursuing and already having a bachelor's degree. The highest number of people with computer ownership were postgraduates in 2002 and 2010 with around 72% and nearly 92% respectively.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar graphs provide information about the
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percentage
of

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
in
nearly
a decade.

It
also
depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
by

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
education
level's comparison in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the decade.

Overall
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
owning a computer is highest in

2010 whereas lowest in 2002 which is quite evident due to technology

enhancements in all these years. Postgraduates stood
first


in terms of computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
in both the years 2002 and 2010

while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with not even a high school diploma seem to lack behind.

From 2002 to 2010, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having computer

has increased from around 53% to approximately 75%

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
with
no drop in the years 2004, 2006 and 2008.

As per the education levels, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of computer ownership

was
nearly
15% in 2002 which hiked to 40% by 2010 for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


who had no high school diploma.
Similarly
, high school graduate's

percent increased by 30 from 2002 to 2010. The pattern
was followed


for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are pursuing and already having a bachelor's degree.

The highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ownership
were postgraduates in 2002 and 2010 with around 72% and
nearly
92%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Computer ownership by education level, 2002 and 2010

Academic
  American English
9 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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