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These three pie charts compare the proportions of people over three age groups who have different employment situations in the country of Evonia.

These three pie charts compare the proportions of people over three age groups who have different employment situations in the country of Evonia. Yk0aV
As can be seen from the charts, the pattern of people from 17 to 25 years old are completely different from that of people from 26 to 65 years old. For instance, the most people from 17-25 years old choose companies which have more than 100 employees. The second, third, fourth and fifth places are companies with 10-100 employees, companies with under 10 employees, self-employed and unemployed with 22%, 19%, 5% and 15%. Turning to people from 26-40 years old and 41-65 years old, they share a similar pattern in the employment situations. More specifically, the proportions of people from 26-40 years old and people frm 41-65 years old working in companies with under 10 employees are the highest out off all the situations with 27% and 30% respectively. These are followed by the figures for companies with more than 100 employees, companies with 10-100 employees, self-employed, unemployed with 22% and 18% for companies with more than 100 employees, 24% and 21% for companies with 10-100 employees, 20% and 23% for self-employed, 70% and 8% for unemployed. Overall, very young people in the country of Evonia are liking to choose big companies and people from 26-65 years old tend to work in companies with under 10 employees.
As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the charts, the pattern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from 17 to 25 years
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old
are completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from that of
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people
from 26 to 65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
For instance
, the most
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people
from 17-25 years
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old
choose
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companies
which have more than 100
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employees
. The second, third, fourth and fifth places are
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companies
with 10-100
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employees
,
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companies
with under 10
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employees
, self-employed and unemployed with 22%, 19%, 5% and 15%.

Turning to
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people
from 26-40 years
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old
and 41-65 years
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old
, they share a similar pattern in the employment situations. More
specifically
, the proportions of
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people
from 26-40 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and
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people
Possible spelling mistake found.
frm
41-65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are the highest out off all the situations with 27% and 30%
respectively
. These
are followed
by the figures for
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companies
with more than 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
,
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companies
with 10-100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, self-employed, unemployed with 22% and 18% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with more than 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, 24% and 21% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with 10-100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
, 20% and 23% for self-employed, 70% and 8% for unemployed.

Overall
,
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very
young
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people
in the country of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Evonia
The verb 'liking' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are liking
to choose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from 26-65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
tend to work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with under 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
.
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IELTS academic These three pie charts compare the proportions of people over three age groups who have different employment situations in the country of Evonia.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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