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The world most urgent problem is caused by over population. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Increase in population can lead to plethora of consequences firstly it will cause. Scarcity of food which will be more in demand as a limited farm area, rate of cultivation of flowers are needed more, consequently, unfertility of soil will take place rapidly moreover to increase need of cross in limited hectares of land pesticides in insecticides and also use amount of chemical based fertilizers will be used which will eros the top layer or as well as this chemical will move to water bodies such as rivers, lakes and groundwater table. Thus, these water will be utilised by organism which will induce health problems. So high population will affect food land as well as water resources. Secondly, uncontrol population will require more land to server, which will lead to deforestation to build civilization. As forests are living habitat for other species coma shopping trees will destroy food Chain and shelter of them as a result many organism become extinct and endangered to relate with, in red Data Book extension of species is because of deforestation which is required to build new urbanization. Nextly, demand of population will also raise to fulfill requirement of people, more industrial will be placed by government which lead to more air and as well as water pollution. These consequences of increasing density of population is affecting hydrosphere, lithosphere and atmosphere collectively results negative towards biosphear
Increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
can lead to plethora of consequences
firstly
it will cause. Scarcity of food which will be more in demand as a limited farm area, rate of cultivation of flowers
are needed
more,
consequently
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfertility
of soil will take place
rapidly
moreover
to increase need of cross in limited hectares of land pesticides in insecticides and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
amount of chemical based fertilizers will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
which will
Possible spelling mistake found.
eros
the top layer or
as well
as this chemical will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
bodies such as rivers, lakes and groundwater table.
Thus
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
will be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
by organism which will induce health problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will affect food land
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
resources.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
uncontrol
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will require more land to server, which will lead to deforestation to build civilization. As forests are living habitat for other species coma shopping trees will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
food Chain and shelter of them
as a result
Possible agreement error. The noun organism seems to be countable; consider using: "many organisms".
many organism
become extinct and endangered to relate with, in red Data Book extension of species is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of deforestation which
is required
to build new urbanization.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nextly
, demand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
also
raise to fulfill requirement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, more industrial will
be placed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
which lead to more air and
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
pollution. These consequences of increasing density of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is affecting hydrosphere, lithosphere and atmosphere
collectively
results
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
towards
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
biosphear
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IELTS academic The world most urgent problem is caused by over population.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
230 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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