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The world has been changing in many areas for a while,

The world has been changing in many areas for a while, e5jWW
The world has been changing in many areas for a while, many people believe that this changes affected the young people. They agree that the rules that societies today expect young people to follow and obey has changed also and become more strict to follow and obey. For me, I believe that this depends on the lens through the one is looking for. From my point of view, I disagree with the statement. I feel this way because of two reasons, which I will explore in the subsequent paragraphes. To start with, the rights protections. Now more then ever, young people know their rights, specialy young people. schools have been teaching the students their rights since first grade. furher more, the internet and the social media are playing an importent role in this. For example, my son, Sam, when he was seven years old, he push the table away because I told him to stop playing and go to sleep. At that moment I did what my my mother was doing in this situation when I was his agem I threatend him that I will hit him if he do that agian. Of course I will never do that, but I expceted that he will obey. On the contrary, he did not. He came to me and told me that he will not follow my rules if it come with threatening. Furhter more, he told me that he learned his rights in the school and one of them is not hitting him. We can learned from this example is that young peoples are not expected to follow these rules sricly because they know their rights. The other reason is law protection. No one can deny that their is law and regulation now protecting the youth and give them to choose what is more sutable for their benefits. I have to admit that my opinion in this matter has been profoundly influnced by my experiene. When I was at the primary school, I was forced to wear hijab, I was forced to follow our societys' rules in this matter without discution. When I went to the university, I unwear the hijab and my family could not do any thing because we live in USA. In USA, low protect me if I am not following or obey to my society's rules. If I did obey these rules, I would not live my freedom now. To sum up, young people in this contromrory age, know their rights, and the government also protect them.
The world has been changing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas for a while,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
that societies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
also
and become more strict to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
. For me, I believe that this depends on the lens through the one is looking for. From my point of view, I disagree with the statement. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, which I will explore in the subsequent
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "paragraphs", the plural form of the noun 'paragraph'?
paragraphes
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
protections.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
ever,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
specialy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
schools
have been teaching the students their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
since
first
grade.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
furher
more, the internet and the social media are playing an
Possible spelling mistake found.
importent
role in this.
For example
, my son, Sam, when he was seven years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "pushes", "pushed".
push
the table away
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
playing and go to sleep. At that moment I did what
Possible typo: you repeated a word
my my
mother was doing in this situation when I was his
Possible spelling mistake found.
agem
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
threatend
him that I will hit him if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "does", "did".
do
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
agian
. Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, I".
course I
will never do that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
Possible spelling mistake found.
expceted
that he will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
.
On the contrary
, he did not. He came to me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
if it
Did you mean "comes"?
come
with threatening.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Furhter
more, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he learned his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
in the school and one of them is not hitting him. We can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "learn"
learned
from this example is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
Possible spelling mistake found.
sricly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know their rights.

The other reason is law protection. No one can deny that
Did you mean "there"?
their
is law and regulation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
protecting the youth and give them to choose
what is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
sutable
for their benefits. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion in this matter has been
profoundly
Possible spelling mistake found.
influnced
by my
Possible spelling mistake found.
experiene
. When I was at the primary school, I
was forced
to wear hijab, I
was forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
our
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "societies", the plural form of the noun 'society'?
societys
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
in this matter without
Possible spelling mistake found.
discution
. When I went to the university, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwear
the hijab and my family could not do
Did you mean "anything"?
any thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
.
A determiner is probably missing here: "In the USA".
In USA
, low protect me if I am not following or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
to my society's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
. If I did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
obey
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, I would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
my freedom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in this
Possible spelling mistake found.
contromrory
age, know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rights
, and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
also
protect them.
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IELTS academic The world has been changing in many areas for a while,

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
420 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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