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The graph bellow illustrates the amount of three different spreads (margarine, low fat, and butter) consumed by people from 1981 to 2007.

The graph bellow illustrates the amount of three different spreads (margarine, low fat, and butter) consumed by people from 1981 to 2007. Wyb3q
The graph bellow illustrates the amount of three different spreads (margarine, low fat, and butter) consumed by people from 1981 to 2007. The units are measured in grams. Overall, All types of spreads amount of consumption dropped at the end of the period. However, butter was the most popular spread at the beginning of the period. It was replaced by low fat and reduced spreads as the most consumed spread at the end of the period. Meanwhile, between 1991 to 1996 margarine consumption was the highest compared to others. In 1981 to 1991 the amount of butter consumed was around 140 grams. It reached its peak at 160 grams before dropped significantly from 1991 to 2007 reaching bellow 60 grams. The similar phenomena occurred in consumption of margarine. Despite rose around 10 grams in the middle of the period, It declined significantly around 50 grams from its original amounts at the end of the period. In the other hand, as the others two spreads consumption fell down, the consumption of low fat spread were raising sharply from around 10 grams by 1996 to 70 grams in 2007.
The graph bellow illustrates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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spreads
(margarine, low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, and butter) consumed by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from 1981 to 2007. The units
are measured
in grams.

Overall
, All types of
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spreads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
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consumption
dropped at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
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period
.
However
, butter was the most popular
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spread
at the beginning of the
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period
. It
was replaced
by low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
as the most consumed
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spread
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. Meanwhile,
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1991 and 1996".
between 1991 to 1996
margarine
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consumption
was the highest compared to others.

In 1981 to 1991 the
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amount
of butter consumed was
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around
140
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grams
. It reached its peak at 160
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grams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropped
significantly
from 1991 to 2007 reaching bellow 60
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grams
. The similar phenomena occurred in
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consumption
of margarine. Despite rose
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around
10
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grams
in the middle of the
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period
, It declined
significantly
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around
50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
from its original
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amounts
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. In the other hand, as the others two
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spreads
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consumption
fell down, the
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consumption
of low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spread
were raising
sharply
from
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around
10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
by 1996 to 70
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grams
in 2007.
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IELTS academic The graph bellow illustrates the amount of three different spreads (margarine, low fat, and butter) consumed by people from 1981 to 2007.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
187 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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