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The work patterns for employees in four industries

The work patterns for employees in four industries G9D8e
The charts give the data on how the labourers are employed across the days of their working weeks in four different categories: catering, transportation, retail and finance. As we can see from the graphs, there is a reasonably higher amount of workers who enjoyed working during the day. The number of people works in the evening are a bit similar in all four aspects. As regards the first, the number of employees labour at the transport is interestingly elevated at night up to about one-third of the employment. Furthermore, finance makes up three out of four proportions during the weekends. By contrast, retail and finance have much lower rates of 4 and 5 per cent each at the same time. On weekends, there are a large number of people who work at catering, retail and transport although there is the nearly fewer percentage in finance. Likewise, a tiny minority serve at nighttime compared with the others. It is noticeable that the transport is further increased at night despite the others being dropped.
The charts give the data on how the
labourers
are employed
across the days of their working weeks in four
different
categories: catering, transportation, retail and
finance
. As we can
see
from the graphs, there is a
reasonably
higher amount of workers who enjoyed working during the day. The number of
people
works in the evening are a bit similar in all four aspects. As regards the
first
, the number of employees
labour
at the transport is
interestingly
elevated at night up to about one-third of the employment.
Furthermore
,
finance
makes
up three out of four proportions during the weekends. By contrast, retail and
finance
have much lower rates of 4 and 5 per cent each at the same time. On weekends, there are
a large number of
people
who work at catering, retail and transport although there is the
nearly
fewer percentage in
finance
.
Likewise
, a tiny minority serve at nighttime compared with the others. It is noticeable that the transport is
further
increased at night despite the others
being dropped
.
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IELTS academic The work patterns for employees in four industries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
172 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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