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the weekly expenses of people of Britain for the junk food

the weekly expenses of people of Britain for the junk food k5LOW
The bar graph illustrates the weekly expenses of people of Britain for the junk food and also the craze for the same. Overall, it is obvious that the people from affluent families have developed affinity for hamburgers in last two decades whereas the pizza being the favourite for the middle class people. The first bar chart depicts that people with handsome salaries enjoy hamburgers the most and spend lavishly buying them, making to 40 pence per person in a week. The average income families spend approximately 33 pence per week. The minimum income category pay a little less than 15 pence per person per week. On the contrary, they invest more on fish and chips as compared to hamburgers, contributing less than 20 pence per person in seven days. Although pizza is the least preferred processed food among the below average earners, using lower than 10 pence per week. Whereas the people with higher salaries spend 20 pence per individual per week to purchase pizza. Second, the consumption of hamburgers rose drastically over the two decades; from 1970 to 1990. On the other hand, the liking for fish and chips declined steadily over a decade, ranging from 1975-1985, although it encountered a plateau in a lustrum; from 1970-1975. The people started enjoying pizza whose consumption increased gradually in two decades; from 1970-1990
The bar graph illustrates the weekly expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Britain for the junk food and
also
the craze for the same.

Overall
, it is obvious that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from affluent families have developed affinity for hamburgers in last two decades whereas the pizza being the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
for the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

The
first
bar chart depicts that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with handsome salaries enjoy hamburgers the most and spend
lavishly
buying them, making to 40 pence per person in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
. The average income families spend approximately 33 pence per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
minimum income category pay a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than 15 pence per person per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
On the contrary
, they invest more on fish and chips as compared to hamburgers, contributing less than 20 pence per person in seven days. Although pizza is the least preferred processed food among the below average earners, using lower than 10 pence per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with higher salaries spend 20 pence per individual per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
pizza.

Second, the consumption of hamburgers rose
drastically
over the two decades; from 1970 to 1990.
On the other hand
, the liking for fish and chips declined
steadily
over a decade, ranging from 1975-1985, although it encountered a plateau in a
Possible spelling mistake found.
lustrum
; from 1970-1975.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
enjoying pizza whose consumption increased
gradually
in two decades; from 1970-1990
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IELTS academic the weekly expenses of people of Britain for the junk food

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
221 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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