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The value of goods that Australia imported from China and those exported to China from Australia

The value of goods that Australia imported from China and those exported to China from Australia m2EqK
The given graphs explain detailed information about importation and exportation between China and Australia, Moreover, the First graph provides the cost of goods that were exported and imported between these countries from 1998 to 2004, While the second graph illustrates the different kinds of merchandise imported from China in 2003 and 2004. It can be seen that Australia imported more goods from China than it exported. In 1998, Australia imported goods worth $20 billion. The growth of imports was steady till 2004 and it reached $40 billion by 2004. Whereas goods exported to China worth $10 billion in 1998 and exports grew rapidly and reached $30 billion in 2004. From the second graph, There were no changes occurred in the import of clothes in 2003 and 2004. But the import of all other given items had increased in 2004 than the importation in 2003. As it can be seen that. The import of toys/sports equipment and telecommunications equipment import had a significant growth which grew from $2 and $3 billion in 2003 to $7 and $8 billion in 2004 respectively. Import of computers and furniture were showed a similar trend in both the given years and there was a slight increase of 1 billion dollars in the import of computers and furniture in 2004. Overall, In Australia, the number of toys/sports equipment and telecommunications equipment users were increased within one year
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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graphs
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explain
detailed information about importation and exportation between China and Australia,
Moreover
, the
First
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graph
provides the cost of
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goods
that
were exported
and
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imported
between these countries from 1998 to 2004, While the second
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graph
illustrates the
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different
kinds of merchandise
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imported
from China in 2003 and 2004. It can be
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seen
that Australia
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imported
more
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goods
from China than it exported. In 1998, Australia
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imported
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goods
worth $20
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billion
. The growth of
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imports
was steady till 2004 and it reached $40
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billion
by 2004. Whereas
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goods
exported to China worth $10
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billion
in 1998 and exports grew
rapidly
and reached $30
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billion
in 2004. From the second
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graph
, There were no
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changes
occurred in the
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import
of clothes in 2003 and 2004.
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But
the
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import
of all other
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given
items had increased in 2004 than the importation in 2003.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
it can be
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seen
that. The
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import
of toys/sports
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equipment
and telecommunications
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equipment
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import
had a significant growth which grew from $2 and $3
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billion
in 2003 to $7 and $8
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billion
in 2004
respectively
.
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Import
of computers and furniture were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a similar trend in both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years and there was a slight increase of 1
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billion
dollars in the
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import
of computers and furniture in 2004.
Overall
, In Australia, the number of toys/sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
and telecommunications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equipment
users
were increased
within one year
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IELTS academic The value of goods that Australia imported from China and those exported to China from Australia

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
230 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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