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The two pie graphs show differences in Chinese household spending in four essential categories. These categories are marked as percentages of total spending, with differences in spending for 1995 and 2011

The two pie graphs show differences in Chinese household spending in four essential categories. These categories are marked as percentages of total spending, with differences in spending for 1995 and 2011 8aOak
Food and clothing remained the largest categories in both years, with medicine and household goods remaining the smallest. Nonetheless, there were measurable changes in all four categories over the years. Changes to the household budget shares of food and medicine were particularly noticeable. Both of the top two categories, clothing and food, shrank during this 16 year period. Clothing lost just 1% of its share, going from 19% to 18%, while food dropped more dramatically, starting at 68% but losing 9 points of share by 2011. In both 1995 and 2011, medicine and household goods represented the lowest and second-lowest spending categories, respectively. Still, both gained a larger share of household spending in China by 2011. Medicine jumped 7 points from 4% to 11%, while household goods made a smaller but still-noticeable increase from 9 to 12 percent
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Food
and clothing remained the largest
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categories
in both years, with
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medicine
and
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household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
remaining the smallest. Nonetheless, there were measurable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in all four
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categories
over the years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Changes
to the
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household
budget
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shares
of
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food
and
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medicine
were
particularly
noticeable.

Both of the top two
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categories
, clothing and
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food
, shrank during this
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
16 year
period. Clothing lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
1% of its
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share
, going from 19% to 18%, while
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food
dropped more
dramatically
, starting at 68%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
losing 9 points of
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share
by 2011.

In both 1995 and 2011,
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medicine
and
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household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
represented the lowest and second-lowest spending
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categories
,
respectively
.
Still
, both gained a larger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of
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household
spending in China by 2011.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medicine
jumped 7 points from 4% to 11%, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
made a smaller
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
-noticeable increase from 9 to 12
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percent
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IELTS academic The two pie graphs show differences in Chinese household spending in four essential categories. These categories are marked as percentages of total spending, with differences in spending for 1995 and 2011

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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