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The two maps below show Road access to City Hospital in 2007 and in 2010

The two maps below show Road access to City Hospital in 2007 and in 2010 Npob
Report reveals the information regarding the transformation that have taken place at the road as to a city hospital between 2007 and in 2010In the year 2007 only one parking area which used by staff and public but on other hand in year 2010 after development make different different car parking areas for public and Hospital staff. According to map City Hospital surrounded with ring road moreover in 2007 the Hospital road rolled out between the bus stop but on the right side of the Hospital road space for car parking for staff and public the Hospital road connected with City Road. Brother more in 2010 on the right side of the city hospital space for car parking only for public one interesting development in which make to roundabouts first connected with the ring road Hospital road and Bus Station and 2nd is also connected with Bus Station and hospital and City road however Hospital road between the staff car parking with on the right side and bus station
Report reveals the information regarding the transformation that have taken place at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
as to a city
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hospital
between 2007 and in 2010In the year 2007
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
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parking
area which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
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staff
and
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public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on other hand in year 2010 after development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
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car
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parking
areas for
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public
and
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Hospital
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staff
. According to map City
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Hospital
surrounded with ring
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road
moreover
in 2007 the
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Hospital
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road
rolled out between the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the right side of the
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Hospital
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road
space for
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
for
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staff
and
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public
the
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Hospital
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road
connected with City
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Road
. Brother more in 2010 on the right side of the city
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hospital
space for
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car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
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public
one interesting development in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
to roundabouts
first
connected with the ring
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road
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Hospital
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road
and Bus Station and 2nd is
also
connected with Bus Station and
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hospital
and City
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road
however
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Hospital
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road
between the
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staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parking
with on the right side and bus
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
station
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IELTS academic The two maps below show Road access to City Hospital in 2007 and in 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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