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the two maps below show road access to a city

the two maps below show road access to a city JwkN5
The mentioned pictures demonestrate before and after the changes of an island. One of the most important facilities are added is a lot of accomadition camps with a restaurant and a reception. In the past, the island has just some trees and had not facilities for passengers. Moreover, use not to in the area, today is constructed. The other essential advances of this area, is to built a pier for establish a communication with sea travelers. So, nowadays many people come to this place. Furthermore doing some approches for development of swimming area around of the island's beach. The Two Maps Below Show Road Access To A City Hospital In 2007 And 2010 | Task 1 Academic IELTS Report Before the facilities were constructed, there was only trees and beach on the island and most of the places were empty. In this island, many new tourists’ facilities have been made including accommodation facilities, restaurant, reception centre, pier for boating, swimming facility on the beach and so on. Interestingly plants and trees were not cut down to build these constructions and most of the constructions were made near the beach. To sum up, in the present time, various facilities are built in this island that generally can changed it.
The mentioned pictures
Possible spelling mistake found.
demonestrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of an island.

One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomadition
camps with a restaurant and a reception. In the past, the
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island
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees and had not facilities for passengers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
not to in the area,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is constructed
.

The other essential advances of this area, is
Did you mean "to build"?
to built
a pier for establish a communication with sea travelers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to this place.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
approches
for development of swimming area around of the island's beach. The Two Maps Below
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Show
Road Access To A City Hospital In 2007 And 2010 | Task 1 Academic IELTS Report

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
the facilities
were constructed
, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
trees and beach on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
and most of the places were empty. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new tourists’ facilities have
been made
including accommodation facilities, restaurant, reception
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
, pier for boating, swimming facility on the beach and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Interestingly
plants and trees were not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to build these constructions and most of the constructions
were made
near the beach.

To sum up, in the present time, various facilities
are built
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
island
that
generally
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
it.
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IELTS academic the two maps below show road access to a city

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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