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The two graphs show student enroiment trends over a ten year period from 2000 - 2010 in Australian universities.

The two graphs show student enroiment trends over a ten year period from 2000 - 2010 in Australian universities. W7pW
The two graphs show student enroiment trends over a ten year period from 2000 - 2010 in Australian universities. Overall, the two graphs clearly demonstrate increasing demand for Australian university education by overseas students increasing 400% with a significantly smaller increase by local students only 50% for thiss period. The first graph clearly shows that new overseas students continue to enrol in Australian universitie. In 2010, the number of international students increased by about 80000 students, while the remaining number of students increased steadily over the five years. From just under 9, 000 in 2000, to 10. 00 in 2005 and then over 20, 000 in 2010. And the local students was around 600000 in 2010. The trends clearly demonstrate that growth can be expected to continue from overseas students but not for local students.
The two graphs
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show
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student
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enroiment
trends over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "ten-year"
ten year
period
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2000 to 2010"?
from 2000 - 2010
in Australian universities.
Overall
, the two graphs
clearly
demonstrate increasing demand for Australian university education by overseas
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students
increasing 400% with a
The extreme adjective for small is "tiny", or "minimal".
significantly smaller
increase by local
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students
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only
50% for
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thiss
period. The
first
graph
clearly
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shows
that new overseas
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students
continue to enrol in Australian
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universitie
. In 2010, the number of international
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students
increased by about 80000
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students
, while the remaining number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
increased
steadily
over the five years. From
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 9, 000 in 2000, to 10. 00 in 2005 and then over 20, 000 in 2010. And the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
was around 600000 in 2010. The trends
clearly
demonstrate that growth can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to continue from overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS academic The two graphs show student enroiment trends over a ten year period from 2000 - 2010 in Australian universities.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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