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The two graphs illustrate the number of Japanese toured overseas between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share in Japan's tourism.

The two graphs illustrate the number of Japanese toured overseas between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share in Japan's tourism. Overall, vacationists from Japan spent overseas steadily increase over a decade, whereas the percentage of Australia's share of Japanese tour demand shown an upward trend. On the first chart, the number of Japanese travelers visiting other countries progressed gradually from 1985 to about 5 million people and doubled after five years with approximately 11 million in population. However, a slight drop in number occurred in 1991 at nearly half a million. In the following years, the tourist population regained momentum, which rate grew from 1992 almost reached 12 million and peaked in the tenth year (1995) at roughly 15 million tourists. The Australian shared in Japanese traveler business started in 1985 at 2% and further increased to 5% in 1988 then fell roughly 1% after a year. In 1990, the tourist market recovered with just below 5% and continuously climbed in three consecutive years, which reached just above 6% but made a slight drop of a few in percentages in 1994.
The two graphs illustrate the number of Japanese toured overseas between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share in Japan's tourism.

Overall
, vacationists from Japan spent overseas
steadily
increase over a decade, whereas the percentage of Australia's share of Japanese tour demand shown an upward trend.

On the
first
chart, the number of Japanese travelers visiting other countries progressed
gradually
from 1985 to about 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and doubled after five years with approximately 11
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in population.
However
, a slight drop in number occurred in 1991 at
nearly
half a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. In the following years, the tourist population regained momentum, which rate grew from 1992 almost reached 12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and peaked in the tenth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
(1995) at roughly 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tourists.

The Australian shared in Japanese traveler business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in 1985 at 2% and
further
increased to 5% in 1988 then fell roughly 1% after a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 1990, the tourist market recovered with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
below 5% and
continuously
climbed in three consecutive years, which reached
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 6%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
made a slight drop of a few in percentages in 1994.
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IELTS academic The two graphs illustrate the number of Japanese toured overseas between 1985 and 1995 and Australia's share in Japan's tourism.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
181 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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