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The two graph below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960 -2000

The two graph below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960 -2000 2XqM
The line graphs enumerate information about the proportion of smokers and the intake of alcohol in litres in different regions from 1960 to 2000. It is evident from the illustration that the highest proportion of people who smoke everyday was seen in Holland, about 60 in year 1960. After that, this proportion decreased year by year and it reached at 35% in 2000. Only half of total proportion of masses smoke daily in Japan, whereas after 40 years this proportion fell down to 16. The USA people who smoke daily, had percentage 40 in 1960 and 18 in 2000. Probing ahead, there was noticed about 3 litres per person consumption of alcohol in Holland in year 1960, while after that, it reached at high in 1980. In 2000, alcohol intake in litres per person decreased by 5. Turkey showed similar trend of alcohol intake per person near 2. The consumption of alcohol in litres per person was 7 in 1960 and 8 in 2000. Overall, it is worth noticing that in Japan mostly people smoke everyday as compared to people of countries and alcohol consumption in litres per person was more in Holland during the given years.
The line graphs enumerate information about the
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proportion
of smokers and the intake of
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alcohol
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
in
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different
regions from 1960 to 2000. It is evident from the illustration that the highest
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proportion
of
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people
who
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smoke
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
was
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seen
in Holland, about 60 in
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year
1960. After that, this
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proportion
decreased
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year
by
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year
and it reached at 35% in 2000.
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Only
half of total
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proportion
of masses
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smoke
daily in Japan, whereas after 40 years this
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proportion
fell down to 16. The USA
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people
who
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smoke
daily, had percentage 40 in 1960 and 18 in 2000. Probing ahead, there
was noticed
about 3
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litres
per
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person
consumption of
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alcohol
in Holland in
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year
1960, while after that, it reached at high in 1980. In 2000,
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alcohol
intake in
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litres
per
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person
decreased by 5. Turkey
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showed
similar trend of
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alcohol
intake per
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person
near 2. The consumption of
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alcohol
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
per
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person
was 7 in 1960 and 8 in 2000.
Overall
, it is worth noticing that in Japan
mostly
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people
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smoke
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
as compared to
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people
of countries and
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alcohol
consumption in
Possible spelling mistake. 'litres' is British English.
litres
per
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person
was more in Holland during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
years.
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IELTS academic The two graph below show the percentage of smokers and the consumption of alcohol in litres in selected countries for the period 1960 -2000

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
197 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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