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reasons of study and how the each course should be shared

reasons of study and how the each course should be shared nrke
The bar chart shows to us the reasons of adults about decisions to study. The majority of these people (approximately 40%) have a curiosity about a subject on the other side some people (nearly 38%) want to obtain a skill to increase their eligibility. Also, there are some people (about 20%) who enjoy learning and in addition to, there are a few people who decide to study for meeting people. A large number of people decide to study for their personal requests. Compare to these people who decide for their arbitrary purpose, 22% of adults decide to study because it is helpful for their job. Besides, 20% of these people want to increase their chance to promote in their jobs and 12% of these people decide for working in the jobs they want. The pie chart shows us the people think 40% of costs individuals must pay, 35% of it employer and 25% of it taxpayer must pay.
The bar chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to us the reasons of adults about decisions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. The majority of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(approximately 40%) have a curiosity about a subject on the other side
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(
nearly
38%) want to obtain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to increase their eligibility.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
(about 20%) who enjoy learning and
in addition
to, there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for their personal requests.

Compare to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
for their arbitrary purpose, 22% of adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is helpful for their job.
Besides
, 20% of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to increase their chance to promote in their jobs and 12% of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decide
for working in the jobs they want.

The pie chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
us the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
40% of costs individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay, 35% of
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it employer
and 25% of
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it taxpayer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay.
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IELTS academic reasons of study and how the each course should be shared

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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