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The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight. gGyyL
The figures illustrate how a hot air balloon ascends and descend thanks to a mechanical simple mechanism and hot gases provided by the burners. A balloon is composed by a spherical envelope, burners, a valve with a cord, gas tanks and a basket to transport safely the passengers off the ground. To ascend, the passenger opens the gas and switch on the burners, the hot air will fill the envelope while the inside valve is closed. Whereas, to descend the valve cord needs to be pulled in order to open the valve. It is important to note that burners must be off when the balloon is descending, on the contrary when it is ascending the burners are on. As It could be seen the entire procedure is executed by the operator inside the basket who must monitor the tanks, switch on the burners and pull the cord. To summarise, hot air balloon is a reliable transport when is in flight and could be easily operated using the mechanisms that has been explained.
The figures illustrate how a hot air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balloon
ascends and descend thanks to a mechanical simple mechanism and hot gases provided by the burners.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balloon
is composed
by a spherical envelope,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burners
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valve
with a cord, gas tanks and a basket to transport
safely
the passengers off the ground. To ascend, the passenger opens the gas and switch on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burners
, the hot air will fill the envelope while the inside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valve
is closed
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, to descend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valve
cord needs to
be pulled
in order to open the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valve
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be off when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balloon
is descending,
on the contrary
when it is ascending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burners
are on. As It could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the entire procedure
is executed
by the operator inside the basket who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
monitor the tanks, switch on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
burners
and pull the cord.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, hot air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balloon
is a reliable transport when is in flight and could be
easily
operated using the mechanisms that has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
.
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IELTS academic The two diagrams illustrate the main parts of a hot air balloon and indicate how it ascends and descends in flight.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
172 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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