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The line graph illustrates the information about the number of students enrollement at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009.

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of students enrollement at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009. eKJJx
The line graph shows the data about how many students enrolled at Sheffield University from three various countries ( Iran, Greece, Turkey) from 2005 to 2009. Overall, in 2005, there was the maximum number of enrolled students from Greece in 2005, whereas this figure showed the least amount of enrollments from Feece in 2009. Nevertheless, in 2009, Iranian and Turkish students were the most significant quantity. With regards to registrations, there was a dramatic decline in registered Greek students which it fell from 180 to 60, whereas between 2007 and 2008, the number of Greek students remained stable and it accounted for 60 students. Furthermore, starting from 2008, the amount of recordings dipped to 40 students. On the other hand, beginning from 2005, there was a noticeable growth in enrollment of turkish students and eventually, in 2009, the recording of registration made up 120. Likewise, there was a significant change in enlisted Iranian students which it rose 40 in 2005 and comprised 160 recording in 2009.
The line graph
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shows
the data about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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students
enrolled at Sheffield University from three various countries
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(
Iran, Greece, Turkey) from 2005 to 2009.

Overall
, in 2005, there was the maximum number of enrolled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Greece in 2005, whereas this figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the least amount of enrollments from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Feece
in 2009.
Nevertheless
, in 2009, Iranian and Turkish
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students
were the most significant quantity.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
registrations, there was a dramatic decline in registered Greek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which it fell from 180 to 60, whereas between 2007 and 2008, the number of Greek
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
remained stable and it accounted for 60
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students
.
Furthermore
, starting from 2008, the amount of recordings dipped to 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
On the other hand
, beginning from 2005, there was a noticeable growth in enrollment of
Possible spelling mistake found.
turkish
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students
and
eventually
, in 2009, the recording of registration made up 120.
Likewise
, there was a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in enlisted Iranian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which it rose 40 in 2005 and comprised 160 recording in 2009.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the information about the number of students enrollement at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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