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the tow pie charts show aob eshow percentage

the tow pie charts show aob eshow percentage r8QRJ
The two pie charts shows above show in percentage the ways which have been choose by Canadian (first pie chart) or Australian (2 pie chart) users to discover the daily news. The users's options selected in the charts are Radio. TV, Print, Online and not specified. Overall, it's evident that both countries have a slightly similar pattern although they have small differences. For instance, Australian citizens have a 52% of online newsreaders, who prefer finding out news online, in contrast with Canadians who have a minor percentage (just 36%). Furthermore, the Canadian newsreaders who prefer reading paper journalism are double of Austrialian people who are just 7%.
The two pie
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charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in percentage the ways which have been
Consider using a past participle here: "chosen".
choose
by Canadian (
first
pie
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chart)
or Australian (2 pie
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chart)
users to discover the daily news. The
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users's
options selected in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charts
are Radio. TV, Print, Online and not specified.

Overall
, it's evident that both countries have a
slightly
similar pattern although they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
differences.
For instance
, Australian citizens have a 52% of online newsreaders,
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who
prefer finding out news online,
in contrast
with Canadians
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who
have a minor percentage (
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
36%).

Furthermore
, the Canadian newsreaders
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who
prefer reading paper journalism are double of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Austrialian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
7%.
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IELTS academic the tow pie charts show aob eshow percentage

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
107 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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