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the thress pie charts show the total school spending

the thress pie charts show the total school spending 0wKPG
The given pie charts compare the expenditure of a school in the UK for five different purposes over a 20-year period. It is clear that the largest percentage of the school’s spending belonged to teachers' salaries, the opposite was true for insurance in all three years (1981, 1991, and 2001). In 1981, the proportion for teachers’ salaries accounted for 40%, while that of resources, furniture and equipment both reached 15%. After that, a half of the school's budget went on teachers’ salaries before falling again by 5% in 2001. On the other hand, after 20 years, school tended to invest more in facilities, at nearly a quarter. But in contrast, the percentage of spending on resources just increased by 5 percent before witnessing a significant decrease to 9 percent in 2001. During the same period, the proportion for other workers’ salaries and insurance observed a completely different trend. From 1981 to 2001, expenditure on insurance stood at only 2% of the total and then rose each 10-year period till it reached 8 percent. By contrast, this figure for other workers’ salaries occupied 28% in 1981, then fell by 6 percent after 10 years and finally dropped to 15% in 2001.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie charts compare the expenditure of a school in the UK for five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes over a
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20-year
period.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the largest percentage of the school’s spending belonged to teachers'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
, the opposite was true for insurance in all three years (1981, 1991, and 2001).

In 1981, the proportion for teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
accounted for 40%, while that of resources, furniture and equipment both reached 15%. After that, a half of the school's budget went on teachers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling again by 5% in 2001.
On the other hand
, after 20 years, school tended to invest more in facilities, at
nearly
a quarter.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in contrast
, the percentage of spending on resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
increased by 5
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percent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
witnessing a significant decrease to 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2001.

During the same period, the proportion for other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and insurance observed a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trend. From 1981 to 2001, expenditure on insurance stood at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of the total and then rose each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
10-year
period till it reached 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. By contrast, this figure for other workers’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
occupied 28% in 1981, then fell by 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
after 10 years and
finally
dropped to 15% in 2001.
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IELTS academic the thress pie charts show the total school spending

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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