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Bar chart the population of elephant in nine countries

Bar chart the population of elephant in nine countries DYPGE
The rendered bar chart illustrate the brief information about the polulation of Asian elephant in nine different nations such as Vietnam, India, Malaysia, Sri Lanka, combodia, loas, Thailand and china between 1997 and 2004 Overall, it is evident that the maximum number of elephant in India however, it was minimum in China. After having myopic look on the chart, it is lucid that in1997 and 2004, the population of elephant was under 1000. Moreover, the population of elephant was highest in India as compared to other countries. The population of elephant was similar in Sri Lanka and Malaysia in initial year, hence it decreased in2004. Moving further, the population of the elephant was stable in combodia and loas during the time period. In 1997, 5000 elephants were in Myanmar. It was around 4000 in first year, it was declined by1500 in 2004. The population of elephant in China was least in every year.
The rendered bar chart illustrate the brief information about the
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polulation
of Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
in nine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations such as Vietnam, India, Malaysia, Sri Lanka,
Possible spelling mistake found.
combodia
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
loas
, Thailand and china between 1997 and 2004
Overall
, it is evident that the maximum number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
in India
however
, it was minimum in China. After having myopic look on the chart, it is lucid that in1997 and 2004, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
was under 1000.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
was highest in India as compared to other countries. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
was similar in Sri Lanka and Malaysia in initial year,
hence
it decreased in2004. Moving
further
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
was stable in
Possible spelling mistake found.
combodia
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
loas
during the time period. In 1997, 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephants
were in Myanmar. It was around 4000 in
first
year, it
was declined
by1500 in 2004. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elephant
in China was least in every year.
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IELTS academic Bar chart the population of elephant in nine countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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