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The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. oo09
The pie charts illustrates the noticeable percentages of costs in each year for specific British school in two decades from 1981 to 2001. The instructors earnings significantly rose in the first decade, but slightly fell in the second decade. However, the percentages of insurance increased four times in this period of time. Both teachers incomes and insurance enjoyed considerable and slight growth from 40 percent to 50 percent and two percent and three percent respectively. On the other hand other employers fee and furniture and equipment significantly fell with 28 percent, 15 percent to 22 percent and five percent in order. In 2001, instructors salaries slightly decreased from 50 percent to 45 percent from last ten years. While, resources costs considerably fell from 20 percent to less than ten percent.
The pie charts illustrates the noticeable percentages of costs in each year for specific British school in two decades from 1981 to 2001. The instructors earnings
significantly
rose in the
first
decade,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
slightly
fell in the second decade.
However
, the percentages of insurance increased four times in this period of time. Both teachers incomes and insurance enjoyed considerable and slight growth from 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
respectively
.
On the other hand
other employers fee and furniture and equipment
significantly
fell with 28
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
, 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 22
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
and five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in order. In 2001, instructors salaries
slightly
decreased from 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to 45
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
from last ten years.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, resources costs
considerably
fell from 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
to less than ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.

IELTS academic The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
130 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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