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Percentage of daily intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed in meals and snacks(average person USA) meals

Percentage of daily intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed in meals and snacks(average person USA) meals PJld
The pie chart illustrates the percentage of daily consumption of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar in breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks by an average person in the USA. The intake of different nutrients is different in each of the meals. However, the percentage of consumption of unhealthy nutrients rose and fell in each meal during a day. Dinner and lunch had almost similar percentages of sodium(43% for dinner and 29% for lunch) and fats(37% for dinner and 26% for lunch). The percentage of sugar intake in an average meal for dinner and lunch are 23% and 19% respectively. Breakfast and snacks had equal amounts of about 14% sodium. For saturated fats and added sugars, breakfast contained 16% of both nutrients. Whereas snacks contained 21% of saturated fat and added sugars were around twice as high as fats(42% respectively). On the whole, dinner had higher percentages of all the three unhealthy nutrients whereas breakfast had significantly lower percentages of sodium, saturated fats and added sugars.
The pie chart illustrates the
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percentage
of daily consumption of sodium,
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saturated
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fat
and
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added
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sugar
in breakfast, lunch,
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dinner
and snacks by an average person in the USA. The intake of
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different
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nutrients
is
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different
in each of the meals.
However
, the
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percentage
of consumption of unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nutrients
rose and fell in each meal during a day.

Dinner and lunch had almost similar
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percentages
of sodium(43% for
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dinner
and 29% for lunch) and
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fats(37%
for
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dinner
and 26% for lunch). The
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percentage
of
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sugar
intake in an average meal for
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dinner
and lunch are 23% and 19%
respectively
.

Breakfast and snacks had equal amounts of about 14% sodium. For
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saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
, breakfast contained 16% of both
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nutrients
. Whereas snacks contained 21% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fat
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
were around twice as high as
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fats(42%
respectively
).

On the whole
,
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dinner
had higher
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percentages
of all the three unhealthy
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nutrients
whereas breakfast had
significantly
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "lowed", "lowered".
lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
of sodium,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saturated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fats
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
added
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugars
.

IELTS academic Percentage of daily intake of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed in meals and snacks(average person USA) meals

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
165 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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