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THE TABULAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE PERCENTAGE OF GRADUATES WHO GAVE GOOD RATINGS TO FIVE PHASE OF MC GILL UNIVERSTY IN THE YEAR OF 2005,2010 AND 2015.

THE TABULAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE PERCENTAGE OF GRADUATES WHO GAVE GOOD RATINGS TO FIVE PHASE OF MC GILL UNIVERSTY IN THE YEAR OF 2005, 2010 AND 2015. BJ9LX
OVERALL, IT CAN BE SEEN FROM THE CHART THAT THE HIGHEST PROPORTION OF STUDENTS SATISFIED WITH LIBRARY RESOURCES, WHILE THE LEAST PROPORTION OF PUPILS GAVE GOOD RATINGS TO THE RANGE OF MODULE OFFERED THROUGHOUT THE GIVEN TIME PERIOD. TO BEGIN WITH, FIRSTLY, 74% OF STUDENTS WERE HAPPY WITH THE TEACHING QUALITY IN 2005. THIS FIGURE INCREASED GRADUALLY BY 1% IN 2015. SECONDLY, THE PERCENTAGE OF STUDENTS GIVING GOOD RATINGS FOR LIBRARY RESOURCES WERE 86% IN 2005, BUT IT DECLINE MARGINALLY IN 2015. THIRDLY, THERE WAS A DRAMATIC INCREASE IN THE PERCENTAGE OF STUDENTS WHO WERE HAPPY WITH THE STUDENTS SERVICES DURING GIVEN TIME PERIOD, WHICH FIGURE WAS RANGING BETWEEN 54% AND 95% RESPECTIVELY. IN ADDITION, IN TERMS OF SPORTS AND SOCIAL FACILITIES, THE PERCENTAGE OF PUPILS GAVE GOOD RATING POINT FOR THIS AMENITIES REMAINED SIMILAR IN THE YEAR OF 2005, 2010 AND 2015. HOWEVER, THE FIGURE OF STUDENTS WHO HAPPY WITH THE RANGE OF MODULLES OFFERED HAD DECREASED SIGNIFICANTLY FROM 39% IN 2005 TO A QAURTER IN 2015.
OVERALL
, IT CAN BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
FROM THE CHART THAT THE HIGHEST PROPORTION OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
SATISFIED WITH LIBRARY RESOURCES, WHILE THE LEAST PROPORTION OF PUPILS GAVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
RATINGS TO THE RANGE OF MODULE OFFERED THROUGHOUT THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
TIME PERIOD. TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BEGIN
WITH,
FIRSTLY
, 74% OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
WERE HAPPY WITH THE TEACHING QUALITY IN 2005. THIS FIGURE INCREASED
GRADUALLY
BY 1% IN 2015.
SECONDLY
, THE PERCENTAGE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
GIVING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
RATINGS FOR LIBRARY RESOURCES WERE 86% IN 2005,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
IT DECLINE
MARGINALLY
IN 2015.
THIRDLY
, THERE WAS A DRAMATIC INCREASE IN THE PERCENTAGE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
WHO WERE HAPPY WITH THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
SERVICES DURING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
TIME PERIOD, WHICH FIGURE WAS RANGING BETWEEN 54% AND 95%
RESPECTIVELY
.
IN ADDITION
, IN TERMS OF SPORTS AND SOCIAL FACILITIES, THE PERCENTAGE OF PUPILS GAVE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GOOD
RATING POINT FOR
Did you mean "these"?
THIS
AMENITIES REMAINED SIMILAR IN THE YEAR OF 2005, 2010 AND 2015.
HOWEVER
, THE FIGURE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
STUDENTS
WHO HAPPY WITH THE RANGE OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
MODULLES
OFFERED HAD DECREASED
SIGNIFICANTLY
FROM 39% IN 2005 TO A
Possible spelling mistake found.
QAURTER
IN 2015.
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IELTS academic THE TABULAR CHART ILLUSTRATES THE PERCENTAGE OF GRADUATES WHO GAVE GOOD RATINGS TO FIVE PHASE OF MC GILL UNIVERSTY IN THE YEAR OF 2005, 2010 AND 2015.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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