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The tables and pie chart compare about the outcomes of a study of a recent shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand.

The tables and pie chart compare about the outcomes of a study of a recent shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand. nN9Pn
The results of a survey of a new shopping mall in Auckland, New Zealand have been given in percentage across four categories of satisfaction, wherein data of shops and restaurants are represented in tabular form, while the pie chart illustrates the information for the design. Firstly, for the shops, around half of the males(45) were in a satisfactory state, whereas 17 were more than satisfied. Moreover, the number of dissatisfied shoppers is one-fifth (20) in total for both males and females both. Furthermore, 37 and 34 respectively are the number of positive and very positive feedback from women. However, 9 of them rejected to comment, for males the digit doubled for the same. Secondly, for the restaurants, approximately one-fourth of buyers of both gender are more than happy. Though, quite negligible(5) were unhappy in male and for females the number quadrate. Additionally, around one-half of men and one-third of women were okay. While around one forth from both rejected to give feedback. In addition, in the context of design, 17% of people were more than satisfied. While the percentage of the public, which felt satisfaction was 62%. Although, around one-tenth of visitors did not comment and were not satisfied. Overall, in all three aspects, most of the people experienced satisfaction, however, shops had more negative reviews in comparison.
The results of a survey of a new shopping mall in Auckland, New Zealand have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in percentage across four categories of satisfaction, wherein data of shops and restaurants
are represented
in tabular form, while the pie chart illustrates the information for the design.

Firstly
, for the shops,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males(45)
were in a satisfactory state, whereas 17 were more than satisfied.
Moreover
, the number of dissatisfied shoppers is one-fifth (20) in total for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and females both.
Furthermore
, 37 and 34
respectively
are the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feedback from women.
However
, 9 of them rejected to comment, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
the digit doubled for the same.

Secondly
, for the restaurants, approximately one-fourth of buyers of both gender are more than happy. Though, quite negligible(5) were unhappy in male and for females the number
Possible spelling mistake found.
quadrate
.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
one-half of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and one-third of women were okay.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
one forth from both rejected to give feedback.

In addition
, in the context of design, 17% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were more than satisfied. While the percentage of the public, which felt satisfaction was 62%. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
around
one-tenth of visitors did not comment and were not satisfied.

Overall
, in all three aspects, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
experienced satisfaction,
however
, shops had more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reviews
in comparison
.
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IELTS academic The tables and pie chart compare about the outcomes of a study of a recent shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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