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The bar graph compares the give you a good thing for a while, but I think that the government has not been

The bar graph compares the give you a good thing for a while, but I think that the government has not been aANWP
The bar graph compares the government expenditure on different fields in the UAE in 2000. The data has been calibrated in a billion. Overall, it can be seen that the maximum amount was spent on social security. whereas, transport remained the least spendable sector. Having a clean glance, social security was the highly spent sector. spending on it was AED 100 billion. the second-highest sector was the health and personal social services, which accounted for ADE 53 billion. whereas, education covered ADE 38 billion. spending on other expenditures and dept interest had a similarity that was made up ADE 23 billion. By analysing other data, slightly more than a third was spent on the defence system. the industry and housing were minimum spending sectors, which were 13 billion and 15 billion respectively. on the other hand, the transport system was the least developed by the authority throughout the year, it manifested only less than one in ten AED billion.
The bar graph compares the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expenditure on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields in the UAE in 2000. The data has
been calibrated
in a billion.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the maximum amount
was spent
on social security.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, transport remained the least spendable sector.

Having a clean glance, social security was the
highly
spent sector.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spending
on it
was AED
100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
second-highest sector was the health and personal social services, which accounted for
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADE
53
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billion
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whereas
, education covered
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADE
38
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
spending
on other expenditures and dept interest had a similarity that
was made
up
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADE
23 billion.

By
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
other data,
slightly
more than a third
was spent
on the
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
system.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
industry and housing were minimum spending sectors, which were 13
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billion
and 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
respectively
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, the transport system was the least developed by the authority throughout the year, it manifested
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
less than one in ten AED
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
.

IELTS academic The bar graph compares the give you a good thing for a while, but I think that the government has not been

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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