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The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009. yXPdM
The table shows the percentage of students who selected their interested school on the basis of different categories such as specialist schools, grammar schools, voluntary controlled schools and community schools in the years 2000, 2005 and 2009. Overall, most of the students studied in community schools whereas specialist school has the least percentage, as compared with all the years. In 2000, 52 percent of children take admission in VCS and 24 percent selected grammar schools. Meanwhile, in both specialist schools and community schools, 12 percent of children were commenced their academic. In 2005, VCS demand decreased and it reduced to 38 percent. While community schools demand increased to 32 percent. Moreover, specialist schools and Grammar schools had a negative impacts and its percentage fell down to 11% and 19 % respectively. On the other hand, in 2009, there was a drastic changes happened in all the schools. Community schools had a great impact and its percentage rose to 58. Other three schools had a negative impact and its demand decreased to 10%, 12% and 20% for specialist schools, Grammar schools and VCS respectively.
The table
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shows
the
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percentage
of students who selected their interested
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school
on the basis of
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different
categories such as
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specialist
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schools
,
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grammar
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schools
, voluntary controlled
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schools
and
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community
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schools
in the years 2000, 2005 and 2009.
Overall
, most of the students studied in
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community
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schools
whereas
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specialist
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school
has the least
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percentage
, as compared with all the years.

In 2000, 52
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percent
of children take admission in
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VCS
and 24
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percent
selected
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grammar
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schools
. Meanwhile, in both
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specialist
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schools
and
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community
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schools
, 12
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percent
of children
were commenced
their academic. In 2005,
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VCS
demand decreased and it
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reduced
to 38
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percent
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
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community
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schools
demand increased to 32
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percent
.
Moreover
,
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specialist
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schools
and
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Grammar
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schools
had a
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negative
impacts and its
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percentage
fell down to 11% and 19 %
respectively
.
On the other hand
, in 2009, there was a drastic
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changes
happened in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
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Community
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schools
had a great impact and its
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percentage
rose to 58. Other three
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schools
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact and its demand decreased to 10%, 12% and 20% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
specialist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grammar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
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VCS
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
183 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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