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The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009

The table is present about comparing percentage of students attending four secondary schools between 2000, 2005, and 2009. The type of secondary schools are Specialist Schools, Grammar Schools, Voluntary – Controlled Scholls, and Community Schools. In general, every kind of secondary school decreased significantly in 2000 until 2009 except Community Schools. The highest of pupils attending was Voluntary – Controlled Schools but it changed with Community Schoos in 2009 while the lowest percentage is Specialist Schools. Based on the data, proportions percentage pupil attending specialist schools is started from 12% in 2000, while decreased steadily 1% for every periods. Grammar schools had 24% attendance in the beginning and decreased up to 6% in 2009. And for Voluntary – Controlled Schools decreased extremely up to 18% for each periods, where is started from 52% and fell out until 20% in 2009. Considering of downward trends, Community schools had different trend which increased for every periods. It started with only 12% attendance in the beginning and steadly updown until 58% in the last periods and became the highest proportions in 2009.
The table is present about comparing percentage of students attending four secondary
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schools
between 2000, 2005, and 2009. The type of secondary
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schools
Possible agreement error.
are
Specialist
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Schools
, Grammar
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Schools
, Voluntary
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Controlled
Possible spelling mistake found.
Scholls
, and
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Community
Schools.

In general
, every kind of secondary
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school
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decreased
significantly
in 2000 until 2009 except
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Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
. The highest of pupils attending was Voluntary
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
Possible spelling mistake found.
Schoos
in 2009 while the lowest percentage is Specialist Schools.

Based on the data, proportions percentage pupil attending specialist
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schools
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 12% in 2000, while
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decreased
steadily
1% for every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “period”?
periods
. Grammar
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schools
had 24% attendance in the beginning and
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decreased
up to 6% in 2009. And for Voluntary
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
Controlled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decreased
extremely
up to 18% for each
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “period”?
periods
, where is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 52% and fell out until 20% in 2009.

Considering of downward trends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
trend which increased for every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “period”?
periods
. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12% attendance in the beginning and
Possible spelling mistake found.
steadly
Possible spelling mistake found.
updown
until 58% in the last
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periods
and became the highest proportions in 2009.
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IELTS academic The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary school types between 2000 and 2009

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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