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The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The development of cutting tools in the Stone Age has improved a lot, it has difference shape for the tool from 1. 4 million years ago and 0. 8 million years ago. The differences can be shown from front, side, and back view of the tool. The tool A which is from 1. 4 million years ago in the front view has a long shape and taller than tool B. The tool B which is from the 0. 8 million years ago little bit wider from tool A and it can be seen from the side view, the tool B that has a wide shape make some thin surface in the other hand the tool A give a thicker surface. Also the back view from each tool is different, that the tool A is nicely sharp and doesn't have any cavity but the tool B has a cavity in the middle. The height of the tool A and tool B is same, that is 5 cm.
The development of cutting
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tools
in the Stone Age has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
a lot, it has difference shape for the
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tool
from 1. 4
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million
years ago and 0. 8
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million
years ago. The differences can
be shown
from front, side, and back
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view
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
. The
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tool
A which is from 1. 4
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million
years ago in the front
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view
has a long shape and taller than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
B. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
B which is from the 0. 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
years ago
Reduce redundancy by using “little” or “bit”.
little bit
wider from
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tool
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
A and
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
B that has a wide shape
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
thin surface in the other hand the
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tool
A give a thicker surface.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the back
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view
from each
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tool
is
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different
, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
A is
nicely
sharp and doesn't have any cavity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
B has a cavity in the middle. The height of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
A and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tool
B is same,
that is
5 cm.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the development of cutting tools in the Stone Age.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
166 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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