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the table shows the number of mobile phones and personal computer per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different countries.

the table shows the number of mobile phones and personal computer per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different countries. Kngp3
The table illustrates the total number of personal computers and cell phones per 1000 people of 6 different countries in the year 2003. Firstly, In Luxemburg, the number of PC owners were more by 28 compared to mobile phone owners in the year 2009. Also in Singapore and South Korea, the personal computer users were low against cell users by 0. 8 % and 13. 6 %. In addition, computer owners per 1000 people were 88 in China while mobile users were 35. lastly, the number of people using cell were more in Italy regards to the number of computers owners. Moreover, phone users in Germany were huge in opposition to users using a computer by 22 percent. To summarise, the list containing the number of people from 6 countries using personal computers and phones the Luxemburg tops the list with 872 per 1000 people using cell and 900 people using pc per 1000 while China remained at the bottom with 35 phone users and 88 pc users per 1000 people.
The table illustrates the total
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number
of personal computers and
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cell
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phones
per 1000
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people
of 6
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different
countries in the year 2003.

Firstly
, In
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Luxemburg
, the
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number
of PC
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owners
were more by 28 compared to mobile
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phone
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owners
in the year 2009.
Also
in Singapore and South Korea, the personal computer
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users
were low against
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cell
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users
by 0. 8 % and 13. 6 %.
In addition
, computer
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owners
per 1000
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people
were 88 in China while mobile
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users
were 35.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lastly
, the
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number
of
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people
using
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cell
were more in Italy regards to the
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number
of computers
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owners
.
Moreover
,
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phone
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users
in Germany were huge in opposition to
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users
using a computer by 22 percent.

To
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summarise
, the list containing the
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number
of
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people
from 6 countries using personal computers and
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phones
the
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Luxemburg
tops the list with 872 per 1000
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people
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
and 900
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
per 1000 while China remained at the bottom with 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
and 88
Possible spelling mistake found.
pc
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic the table shows the number of mobile phones and personal computer per 1000 people in 2003 in 6 different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
171 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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