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The table shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games.

The rendered tables illustrates data regarding the total number of gold, silver and bronze medal won by top 10 countries in 2012 Olympic Games held in London. Overall, maximum number of medals was won by America, whereas least number of medals was won by Australia. Conspicuously, in 2012 maximum number of medals was won by United States in which gold medals was 46 and 29 of silver and bronze, followed by China with total 88 medals, whereas Britain won 29 gold medals, meanwhile Russia won 24 gold. In addition, 13 gold medals was won by South Korea, 8 silver and 7 bronze. Furthermore, minimum number of medals was won by Australia, which was 35 in total, moreover Germany won 11 gold, 19 silver and 14 bronze in 2012. France won equal number if gold and silver which was 11 and 12 bronze. In particular, Italy and Hungary won similar number if gold medals which was 8.
The rendered tables
You should probably use “illustrate”.
illustrates
data regarding the total
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number
of gold,
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silver
and bronze
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medal
won by top 10 countries in 2012 Olympic Games held in London.
Overall
, maximum
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number
of
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medals
was won
by America, whereas least
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number
of
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medals
was won
by Australia.

Conspicuously
, in 2012 maximum
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number
of
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medals
was won
A determiner is probably missing here: “by the United States”.
by United States
in which gold
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medals
was 46 and 29 of
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silver
and bronze, followed by China with total 88
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medals
, whereas Britain won 29 gold
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medals
, meanwhile Russia won 24 gold.
In addition
, 13 gold
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medals
was won
by South Korea, 8
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silver
and 7 bronze.
Furthermore
, minimum
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number
of
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medals
was won
by Australia, which was 35 in total,
moreover
Germany won 11 gold, 19
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silver
and 14 bronze in 2012. France won equal
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number
if gold and
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silver
which was 11 and 12 bronze.
In particular
, Italy and Hungary won similar
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number
if gold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medals
which was 8.
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IELTS academic The table shows the number of medals won by the top ten countries in the London 2012 Olympic Games.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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