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the diagrams below show the changes that have taken the place at west park secondary school since its construction in 1950. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pictures describes the changes of West Park Secondary School Facilities from 1950 to 2010. The most significants changes are happens in 1950, where half of the school lands got replace and divided to three new sections. However, in 2010 one of the three section got expanded and take almost half of the school yards. The first construction begin in 1980, where houses and farmland from 1950 got demolished and rebuild to car parks, science block, and sports field. The car parks and science block each used a quarter of the lands, while sports field used half of the lands. Furthermore, in 2010 there had been another contruction happens, the car parks got expanded and used two third of the lands, while the science block stay the same. Due to that, the sports field got moved and used a third of playground yards. In conclusion, between 1950 to 2010 there had been twice constructions, which is include the car parks, science block, sports field, and the playground. However, for school building and two third of the playground stay the same over the years.
The pictures
You should probably use “describe”.
describes
the
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changes
of West
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Park
Secondary
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School
Facilities from 1950 to 2010. The most
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significants
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changes
are happens in 1950, where half of the
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school
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lands
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got
replace and divided to three new sections.
However
, in 2010 one of the three section
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got
expanded and take almost half of the
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school
yards.

The
first
construction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
in 1980, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and farmland from 1950
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got
demolished and rebuild to
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car
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parks
,
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science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
block
, and
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sports
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field
. The
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car
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parks
and
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science
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block
each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a quarter of the
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lands
, while
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sports
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field
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
half of the
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lands
.
Furthermore
, in 2010 there had been another
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contruction
happens, the
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car
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parks
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got
expanded and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
two third of the
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lands
, while the
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science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
block
stay the same. Due to that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
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field
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got
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a third of playground yards.

In conclusion
,
After “between”, use “and”, not “to”.
between 1950 to 2010
there had been twice constructions, which is
Consider using either the past participle “included” or the present participle “including” here.
include
the
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car
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parks
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
block
,
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sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
, and the playground.
However
, for
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school
building and two third of the playground stay the same over the years.

IELTS academic the diagrams below show the changes that have taken the place at west park secondary school since its construction in 1950.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • the diagrams below show the changes that have taken the place at west park secondary school since its construction in 1950. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.