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The diagram below shows the number of papers accepted for publication from the Engineering Faculty at Warwick University in 2011.

The diagram below shows the number of papers accepted for publication from the Engineering Faculty at Warwick University in 2011. 11pNq
The bar graph provides information on the considerable amount of published papers per month in 2011 by the Engineering Faculty at Warwick University. According to the diagram, the highest number of papers was published in the month of July. First of all, July with a whopping 45 has the largest published papers through the period. Thereafter, in January which is the second most one had just above 25. On the other hand, February and December had the same amount as 10. Over a period of 3 months between March and May, there was a steady decline started at 25 which got decreased around 5 each month respectively. The range of 4 months obesrved a similar trend within August to September and October to November. Between two splits there was a gap of 5 and in addition to that, it had a difference of 5 inside each subgroup where August accounted for a little above 15.
The bar graph provides information on the considerable amount of published papers per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
in 2011 by the Engineering Faculty at Warwick University. According to the diagram, the highest number of papers
was published
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
of July.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, July with a whopping 45 has the largest published papers through the period. Thereafter, in January which is the second most one had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 25.
On the other hand
, February and December had the same amount as 10. Over a period of 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
between March and May, there was a steady decline
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 25 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
decreased around 5 each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
month
respectively
. The range of 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
Possible spelling mistake found.
obesrved
a similar trend within August to September and October to November. Between two splits there was a gap of 5 and
in addition
to that, it had a difference of 5 inside each subgroup where August accounted for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
above 15.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the number of papers accepted for publication from the Engineering Faculty at Warwick University in 2011.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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