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The graph below gives the results of a survey showing what 1000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The graph below gives the results of a survey showing what 1000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant Mo0kN
The diagram illustrates some data given by a survey about what 1000 young people did in the period between 2008 and 2012 after they left school. The percentage of people looking for work in 2008 is the highest of the whole period of five years. Instead, the quantity of people who took a temporary break from instruction increased from 2008 to 2012. The most irregular variation of percentage reguards the ones who chose university: the highest percentage was registered in 2010, and then it decreased.
The diagram illustrates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by a survey about what 1000 young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
did in the period between 2008 and 2012 after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
school.

The percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
looking for work in 2008 is the highest of the whole period of five years.
Instead
, the quantity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who took a temporary break from instruction increased from 2008 to 2012. The most irregular variation of percentage
Possible spelling mistake found.
reguards
the ones who chose university: the highest percentage
was registered
in 2010, and then it decreased.

IELTS academic The graph below gives the results of a survey showing what 1000 young people did after leaving school between 2008 and 2012. Summarise the infomation by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
85 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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